Brendan's Ramblings

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Git Crypto


Nobody asked or wanted this Curse.

How this Curse came into existence

So last night at about 3am I was part of a discussion on discord about git, at teh same time there was another discussion in a different channel about crypto.
So our git discussion got tainted with stuff like:

Person 1: git burn evidence
Person 2: something something git isn't a real blockchain because you can do that
Person 2: or conversely, blockchains are just worse git

Person 3: blockckain based source control

As it turns out it is pretty easy to create sub commands for git so I did the normal thing and start thinking up of cursed implementations for git crypto.

Just think about it, git already has hashes and local and remote copies (wallets?) so it only needs a few more tweaks to make it properly crypto!

Cast the Curse

  1. Go to:

    • Windows: C:\Program Files\Git\mingw64\libexec\git-core
    • Linux: Any $PATH location such as /usr/bin
  1. Make a file called git-crypto there.
  1. Paste in the contents below.
  1. On linux you may need to make it executable.


# mostly taken from
# assumes a remote named origin

# get the current branch
branch=$(git symbolic-ref -q HEAD | sed -e 's|^refs/heads/||')

# got to record every transaction
git add --all
git commit -m "HODL"
# make sure you are up to date with transactions other have done
git pull --rebase origin ${branch}
# send your transactions off
git push origin ${branch}

Now you should be freely able to use git crypto to shove everything that you did locally into the cloud.

Intensify the Curse

The above is a good start but it isn't fully blockchain yet, it is still mutable.

Person 4: Ironman git, no resets to make it true Blockchain

Thankfully on *nix this can be rectified.
To your ~/.<shell>rc file add the following lines to make your wallet secure.

# from

git() {
    if [[ "$1" = "revert" || "$1" = "reset" || "$1" =  "rebase"]]; then
        printf "No 'git %s' Only HODL.\n" "$1";
      # catch sneaky amends
      if [ "$2" = "--amend" ]; then
            printf "No 'git %s' Only HODL.\n" "$1";
            command git "$@";

Dispel the Curse

  1. Delete git-crypto.
  1. Remove the override from ~/.<shell>rc.
  1. Disinfect your keyboard/screen.
  1. Donate to mental health services.
  1. Heal your soul: